Navigating Thanksgiving with your Child on the Autism Spectrum
As parents, we look forward to celebrating the holidays each year. What’s not to love? We get to catch up with loved ones, eat delicious food, and take the day off from work to celebrate. But for our kids on the autism spectrum, it's a day full of chaos and things outside their comfort zone. A different routine, new foods, and new people can really stress out a child with autism. Here are some tips to help your Thanksgiving work for you AND your child.
Top 8 Tips for Navigating Thanksgiving with Autism
Talk about it ahead of time - Sometimes knowing what to expect can make a big difference, so if your child is old enough to have a conversation about what the day will look like on Thanksgiving, it can be helpful to talk about your plan for the day. If there are choices your child is able to be a part of, try to include them. For instance, what snacks would they like to have that day, or what toy(s) would they like to bring with them to grandma’s house? Giving them some input with the small things can help give them a sense of control on a day that is full of new and different things.
Try to make Thanksgiving about more than just food - For many kiddos with autism, having a day full of foods they don’t normally eat can be really stressful. While adults may be really excited about turkey and all the trimmings, that can be a nightmare for a picky eater. There is so much more to Thanksgiving than just the food, so make a point to enjoy some non-food traditions - things like watching the parade on TV, playing games together as a family, or making a “thankfulness tree” full of all the things you are thankful for this year.
Don’t put too much pressure on what your child eats - Thanksgiving is just one day of the year, so if your child doesn’t want to eat anything on the table (except maybe a dinner roll), that’s okay. Maybe ask your child ahead of time what they would like to eat, and include that on the table, or get them involved in washing potatoes, or mixing the salad. Try to keep things positive and help make happy Thanksgiving memories with your child.
Come up with a plan - Before the big day, try to think of how your child might respond to what you have planned and decide how you’ll handle it if your child gets overwhelmed and acts out. Plan to have a quiet place for your child to retreat to if all the commotion gets to be too much.
Eat a “normal” meal - Earlier in the day, try to have a “normal” meal with foods your child eats on a routine basis. That way, even if they don’t eat a ton at the Thanksgiving meal, they’ll have a chance to fill up on their regular foods earlier in the day. Hangry kids are no fun, so make sure your child has a chance to eat before all the festivities begin.
Include some snacks - Most kids love snacks, so have some on hand that your child enjoys. Try balanced snacks like trail mix, crackers with hummus, apples and peanut butter, a smoothie, or LaraBar. You know your child best, so choose the snacks they are most likely to eat. This is a great post if you need snack ideas for children with autism.
Talk to the host - If you’ll be going to someone’s house for Thanksgiving, talk with the host ahead of time. If they’re not familiar with you and your child, you may need to let them know that your child may not be able to sit at the table the entire meal, or eat everything (or anything!) on the table. Your child might need a quiet place they can go if things get to be too much for them. Sometimes a simple explanation ahead of time can help avoid any awkward situations at meal time, and most hosts are understanding and accommodating.
Be prepared - If you’re heading to another home for Thanksgiving, plan ahead and make sure you have everything you need for a successful holiday. Bring toys, games, or whatever your child may need to feel comfortable and calm. Pack extra food and snacks, so your child has something to eat. Consider fueling them with a hearty meal right before you go in case they don’t eat much while you are there. Try to anticipate what your child might need (headphones, a special toy or blanket).
Ultimately, Thanksgiving is about family and togetherness, so above all, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to create the “perfect” day. Focus on fun and quality time together, and don’t worry too much about all the details. You’ve got this - the thing kids remember most is the time spent with family.
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BLOG WRITTEN BY KALEE LUNDMARK, MS, RDN
Kalee Lundmark is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and creator of The Crowded Table blog, where she shares family-friendly recipes focused on whole, nourishing foods the whole family will love.
You can find her on her website The Crowded Table
